


'I am Iron Man'

by HeroofProcrastination



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Infinity Gems, Infinity Stone Soul World (Marvel), Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, Soul Stone (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-02-15 15:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18672055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroofProcrastination/pseuds/HeroofProcrastination
Summary: ●MAJOR ENDGAME SPOILERS●When Tony closed his eyes he never expected to open them again.But Tony was never a conventional person, no matter what anyone thought. He was worthy.





	'I am Iron Man'

“I am Iron Man” 

When Tony said those words they weren't the ones that he thought he'd say. In fact, the exact words he thought were ‘ _ whatever it takes’. _

When he held that power it was no longer him in his own head, new screams and shouts a cacophony of voices whispering in his head, and when he raised his hand and snapped those screams were reaching a crescendo that made white noise filter in his head.  _ Whatever it takes. _

He knew what the cost was of snapping, he felt himself burn from the inside out, and despite losing the power, he could still hear whispers of something. 

Then there was Peter...lovely, lovely Peter who deserved so much better than Tony was able to give…

_ We won _ his mouth moved...yet Tony couldn't really hear him...it was...still whispers and voices serenading his mind and hypnotizing him from reality. 

But Pepper was there and Tony wasn't going to look away this time...he wanted to say so much... _ Morgan… _

Tony wanted to be a good father…

_ It's okay to rest now _ ….

Oh...Tony read with her lips, oh….she was smiling; everything would be okay, he just was going to close his eyes that's all. 

  
  


**Rest now** the voices in his head whispered, so he closes his eyes. Just like they advised, and how sweet they sounded when he faded into darkness.

  
  


In reality...Tony knew when he closed his eyes he wasn't going to open them back up-at least….he hadn't  _ thought _ he would.

And yet, he opened his eyes and saw Natasha. Her ombre hair tied in a braid and waving in wind Tony couldn't feel. Her mouth was shouting something and Tony tilted his head in confusion, shaking his head; they were still voices and whispers and caresses in his mind...he didn't know who they were but they were….comforting?? 

“..to...Ton...TONY!” 

Oh! He could hear her.

“Hey Nat.” He smiled...it was so good to see her. 

“Tell me we won.” She breathed out...the only reason Tony could hear her was the fact her voice caught on the wind he couldn't feel. Tony started nodding as tears dripped down her eyelashes,

“Yeah...we won!” Her smile was absolutely radiating, and it was completely breathtaking...if Tony had any breath to give. 

Then Tony started to feel the warmth around his waist, he was sitting in water, although the water wasn’t cold, in fact it was...pleasant to sit in, warm and comfortable. The world was purple, with warm orange lighting and it made Natasha look like she was on fire. Shimmering orange light as if they were underwater, and the water they sat in looked like space itself. So this..was the afterlife. 

  
  


Natasha smiled with her tears and sat back into the water that didn’t splash, only rippled in her movement, her tears reflecting the same galaxy above. Tony looked around and realized...they were...alone? 

“Where is everyone else?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well I mean..” Tony paused looking down at his ruined half of the armor, “We died...shouldn’t..shouldn’t there be more people around? Is this like...heaven, hell?” 

Natasha tilted her head at the question. 

“I don’t know, I’ve been here for about an hour or so, but no one else has shown up. Besides..we brought everyone back, there shouldn’t be people here.” 

Tony couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “Well of course,  _ those _ people wouldn’t be here, but what about everyone else in the universe...like Agent!” 

“You mean Phil.”

“Same thing, all I’m saying is...there should be more than just the two of us here.” 

Natasha nodded pulling her knees back up out of the water and they weren’t soaked, all the droplets sliding off as if her suit was waterproof...which Tony didn’t think it was. Natasha looked around and shook her head softly, the purple of the eclipse seemed to ignite her hair into a florescent pink for a moment. 

“I..don’t know exactly but this is Vormir. This was the planet we found the soul stone on.” Natasha explained. 

Tony was speechless at that...so this wasn’t some..heaven or hell. Just...the soul stone’s holding ground? He gazed around and also stood noticing how his own armor was still burn and destroyed but he, himself wasn’t.

“Hey Nat...am I missing half of my hair?” Natasha furrowed her eyebrows with a new indiscernible emotion. 

“No, you aren’t. Why?”

“Huh..” Tony whispered looking back at his hands, he still had the gauntlet on but the infinity stones were filled with colored ash. There were colored lines running up his arm as if dye had been injected into his veins, coursing through his blood up to his shoulder. 

“You died…” Tony whispered in thought never looking up,” and I know I died…” He finally took another glimpse at the eclipse above them bathing them in purple light. “But..why are we here?” 

“Why wouldn’t we be here?” 

“Just seems like this wasn’t what was meant to happen to us…” Tony finally stood, he was unsteady on his feet but he found the whole place felt warm and comfortable, never too cold, never too warm; just absolutely perfectly room temperature. Natasha looked out in the dark shapes- most likely mountains- in the distance. 

“I wasn’t alone when this first started…” Tony whipped his head around to glance at Natasha. She suddenly looked so much smaller than Tony remembered, had she always been that short? Her hair so limp on her shoulder and her eyes constantly watered, just inevitably on the edge of tears. She never lifted her eyes back up, staring down at her own reflection in the water below. 

“First it was crowded...but everyone just sort of faded a way for a moment, but….there was a little girl here,” her head tilted in a searching manner as if her answers were in the vast space before her. 

“She was green...had pink hair, she seemed confused and scared and hurt…” She drifted off finally meeting Tony’s eyes- green with pink...sounded like-

“Gamora?” 

Natasha nodded.

“Did she, also fade away?” A headshake. “Okay. Where did she go?” Tony breathed out, ever since Morgan was born Tony found his heart sinking at even the mention of little kids, of course he hadn’t been heartless before but- when he was with Harley it had been different, he mostly remembered himself as a kid and remembered the harsh realities he had been dealt at such a young age. He found himself avoiding kids and the kids he did end up interacting with had already lost their innocence naivety. They weren’t children anymore- even with Peter...despite his childish personality- he had seen battles and had participated in wars, had fought against Thanos despite Tony ordering him not to. But then there was Morgan, and she had been such a small, small child when he held her for the first time. A red squirming, screeching...well- a gremlin really, but with time she grew and Tony understood now. No child ever deserved anything other than love, and Tony had worked hard to make sure she had that, had everything she could ever desire and need. But most of all, Tony protected her and made sure she was happy, he gave her time. 

None of these kids deserved this fight that Thanos had brought to them. Peter...Harley..Ned, and Morgan- even that one young girl, T’challa’s younger sister- what was it...Shuri. How could Tony allow all of this to happen...damn..even Vision was technically a child- sure he was an adult in mentality but he still was new to the world, still discovering and understanding and learning, and he had been taken by this war just like the rest of those children. Even...Wanda was still too young to be thrown in the battles she had worn in. 

But the simple thought of a young and confused Gamora that never deserved to be murdered by a giant purple psychopath being lost and alone in this violet world...it hurt, it hurt more than Tony ever thought it would. He couldn’t imagine Morgan lost in this world, it was enough to douse him in ice. 

“She just...she walked off towards the mountains and then she just sort of,” Natasha paused and moved her hands in a swaying motion, her fingers rolling. “Became stars.” Looking equally as confused by her statement as Tony was. 

“So Gamora was also killed for the soul stone.” 

“Seems that way.”  

“So this is the place were...people who die from the soul stone go?” Natasha shrugged then looked over at Tony. 

“Well...how did you die?” She asked holding onto her strap on her chest. She looked apprehensive but Tony smiled at her. 

“I went out with a bang, you know. If you’re gonna go, might as well go in style.” He laughed, “besides - I won the war! Got myself the gauntlet and snapped my own fingers.” Tony raised his hand and snapped to emphasize his point. Ah...there was that endearing smile of hers, Tony missed that smile. She shook her head in a small chuckle and then looked at Tony with tears bubbling up again. 

“Thank you Tony.” She whispered. Tony only smiled in response. 

That’s when Tony heard it again, the soft murmuring around him, in the stars above and the sea below him. Whispers and caresses and licks of knowledge Tony didn’t have before. 

“Tony?” 

Tony was shaking his head left and right to clear his head. 

“Sorry..when do the voices stop?” Natasha blinked slowly and her face of concern was back-  _ ha!  _ Concern for his health in death? That was a funny thought. 

“What voices?” Natasha asked in a tentative voice.  _ What voices? What voices? What voices?  _

Tony’s head was splitting and his ears were ringing,  _ What voices? _

_ Ironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironman _

“Tony what’s happening?” Natasha whispered raising a hand up and the colored veins streaking down Tony’s arm became ablaze with light. 

_ ironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanironmanIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMANIRONMAN _

“I don’t know- it’s-something is-Someone’s in my head!” Tony collapsed into the water below and suddenly it was deathly quiet when his head slipped under the water. He could see Natasha screaming above him reaching out for him but no noise made it to him. But then suddenly a voice whispered in his ear: 

_ WHATEVER IT TAKES _

  
  


Then the stars started to blow up. 

_ Guardian, Ironman, Whatever it takes. _

_ We need Ironman. _

Tony thought he was in some sort of deja vu when he reopened his eyes and the mountains were gone. He was floating in water that reflected the space above which made the world look infinitely bigger.  He slowly rose up out of the water looking around, the place looked the same but significantly emptier. Vormir was what Natasha had called it. Speaking of which, where was Natasha? 

Tony whipped his head around to look for his friend, but found nothing. Was….was she gone too? Did she also fade into stars like Gamora had? This was wrong, Tony didn’t want to be alone, he liked Natasha, he wanted to be there for her. She had been the one that had felt that same loneliness Tony had felt in the Tower - the emptiness, waiting for the rest of the Avengers ( the family) to return home. But they never did- Natasha and Tony seemed to be the only ones waiting for their teammates as family; to them this team was more than a team, it was a home, and to Natasha even more so. 

When everything had gone to shit, and Tony had been lost in space with Nebula, he had long given up hope on Steve. Steve, the liar, Steve, the betrayer. He had promised to stick by his side,  _ by their  _ side, and he had instead torn them apart, smashed his shield down, and when Thanos came knocking….they lost...not  _ together _ but alone. So when Tony came back, no...he wasn’t going to stick by Steve any longer. Not when Steve kept twisting and failing to have Tony’s back. It hurt more than Tony thought it would. 

So Tony had moved on, and in his moving he had abandoned Natasha to her own mind, and the emptiness of their facility- hadn’t Tony also just been there letting his thoughts rattle against the concrete walls? Why hadn’t Tony tried to reach out to her? Why had he let her disappear without a goodbye?

Tony knew that answer...it was Morgan...it would always be Morgan, because Tony had found a new home, a new family to finally invest his everything into. Not that Pepper hadn’t been there before, but this time Morgan was there and nothing,  _ nothing,  _ would make Tony abandon Morgan. 

  
  


But he had...hadn’t he. 

_ Whatever it takes _ whispered in his head, right….he did say that, as did everyone else. So he was here now...dead...and Natasha was….well, somewhere. He glanced around as the water around him rippled he looked down at the ripples and then he saw her. Natasha was his...reflection, banging on what looked like a mirror calling out for Tony and Tony instantly fell to his knees. His hands reaching out clawing at the dirt but there was no Natasha underneath the ground, she was in reflection only and her tears were so so horrible to witness. As Tony reach forward he saw it: the rainbow glow coming off his left hand...the stones were...back? How? They had...they had gone back hadn’t they? Well Tony didn’t know for certain, he had died before the battle had really been cleared up and done. But...they had won, and there was no way, Bruce was gonna let the infinity stones not get sent back to their rightful timelines. 

So how...were they here, and how was Natasha on the other side of the water. Nothing made sense. 

And yet Tony could hear the whispers in his mind, the soft gentle murmuring that nuzzled his mind in a sense of safety. Ever so benevolent went they brushed against Tony's veins and alighted his inside with power. Power he had only felt once before.

_ Get her. Get her.Get her.Get her.Get her. _

Right.

Tony could do that.

_ Family. Family. Ironman family. Whatever it takes.  _

Tony reached down, he  **_wasn't_ ** going to abandon Natasha again, she deserved so much better. They were in this together, no lies, just family. 

Reaching down into the water again he watched as the lights running up his arm erupted and suddenly it was so bright but Tony didn't care. 

_ Get her. Get her.Get her.Get her.Get her.Get her. Get her.Get her.Get her.Get her. _

He no longer felt the soft mud underneath, nor the slick rocks under that, but suddenly warmth, a hand clasping his own. 

Tony tugged as best he could, feeling like he was trying- but failing- to pull out a stick in the mud. But there was her fingers above the water, never splashing, trembling against Tony’s own as he reached with both hands. Had her hands always been so small in his own, always so fragile and dare he say it; young. 

Then it was her arm and he realized she was in the water herself, holding her breath, but- oh if he didn’t hurry she was going to drown! 

With more strength than Tony ever thought he could possibly enforce, he heaved backwards and suddenly there was Natasha choking and coughing out water as her braid became disheveled. 

“W-h” she coughed some more, “what Just happened?” She slowly lifted her eyes up to Tony, and he looked down at his own arm feeling beyond exhausted. As if his soul was attempting to leave him in that moment. He watched silently between his own pants of breathless wonder as her fingers were glowing just like the infinity stones and became transparent only to resolidify. 

“I don’t know.” Tony offered, and he was telling the truth, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to let Natasha live out her afterlife separated by some weird mirror water reality. He would never harm his family like that again. 

“I don’t know, but we’re in this together.” He whispered to her and her blue eyes lifted to his brown. A smile slowly pulled itself on her lips, 

“To the end of the line.” She laughed out, repeating that line they both had heard Steve say. 

Natasha looked up catching her breath to the sight of the cosmos above. 

“I don’t feel dead.” She whispered outloud to Tony, and Tony had to agree. Lifting a shaky hand up to his throat he felt for a pulse. Natasha watched him in curiosity. 

“You think that’d work?” 

“It’s worth a shot.” Tony uttered as he pressed fingers into his skin and felt a soft steady thump. 

“Well...I have a heartbeat, you?” He asked as he attempted to still the tremors in his hands, the lights of the stones still glowing in his arm, he gazed down with interest. It was then he realized the gauntlet was barely holding the gems in place. Instead the seemed to be embedded into his skin itself, fusing to his joints, and Tony felt sick at seeing the charred skin amalgamate to the powerful stones. 

“I….I have a pulse too.” Came Natasha’s breathless reply. 

“Did you not have one before?” Tony stood up holding the not scarred hand out to help her up. 

“I don’t- well...no  I don’t think so.” Natasha whispered looking wondrously at Tony, “I think...I think you did this.” Tony had to shake his head at that but wasn’t she right? 

Hadn’t he...pulled her out of death itself? Looking back down at his hand he still could see the gems rooted into his body. Did he do this? Did he pull Natasha into existence, had he done the same for himself? Was this not death? 

_ No. no. no. no. no. no. no. _

Oh...and there were those voices again. He turned already knowing there wasn’t going to be a person in his sight.

“What is it?” Natasha asked as Tony spun on his heel. 

“Weeeeellll….I think the infinity stones have been- and hear me out here- have been talking to me.” Tony told, going back to his usual self, adopting back his persona of confidence and letting his brain jump through the possibilities before his mouth could even comprehend it. 

“They’re what!?” Natasha scowled stepping closer to take a look at his glowing arm. 

“Yup. Strange huh?” He twisted his arm to show of the streaking lights running up to his shoulder and up his neck. 

“Do you...feel more powerful?” Natasha asked when she softly prodded at the stones, oh and didn’t that just feel...uncomfortable. 

Tony shook his head, he didn’t feel anything not really, only whispers and gentle caresses in his mind. Almost like he was being welcomed home. It wasn’t power, but it was...lovely to feel cared for. 

“No, but I do feel hungry.” He state suddenly realizing how uncomprehensively starved he was.

“Really Tony...right now?” Natasha groaned looking away as she started heading towards a small area that looked like it could be a path. 

“There’s never a bad time for a cheeseburger.” Tony tried to explain, and honestly he didn’t see why Natasha seemed so against it? But the way her eyes rolled and her smile stayed affectionate it was clear she didn’t mind too much. 

“Ah...Anthony Stark, Son of Maria” 

Tony spun around, already arm raised to blast the new specter away. And a Specter it was. It was ghostly being floating and ruined like an image of death itself. His face wasn’t really a face...in fact it was a skull painted red and angry. 

“What is that?” Tony asked seeing as Natasha didn’t look surprised by the new being. Natasha shook her head, 

“He’s some sort of guardian or guide for the Soul Stone, he was the one that explained to Clint and I what we needed to do.” Tony glanced at Natasha from the corner of his eye, she was relaxed and didn’t seem to take this...well creature, as a threat. 

Tony slowly let his arm fall and eyed this being up and down. 

“Okay Darth Maul, what’s going on?” Natasha’s small snort was worth everything. The being squinted his eyes and honestly, how did he do that without...skin? Tony leaned in to get a closer look, did he...did he just squish the actual bone? Was that bone? Or was that some form of muscle. 

“Tony.” Tony snapped out of his pondering to look at Nat. 

“What?” Natasha shook her head as Tony shrugged back at her, meeting the dark gaze of the red being. 

“As I was saying, Anthony son of Maria, that it seems you have been chosen to be a new guide, a new guardian.” He floated slowly by and started to circle Tony and Natasha. 

“What? Like of here? This place what was it- Borimir?” “Vormir”, Natasha supplied.  “Vormir?” 

The Darth Sidious wannabe shook his head with a smirk, 

“No...no it appears to be...that you are a guardian of all the stones...they’ve chosen you.” Tony did  _ not _ like the way the being smiled at him, in fact it made him so very much uncomfortable. 

“They cry of abuse for too long” he - well Tony couldn't call it a laugh more of a cackle...a real super villain type here. 

“The stones.” It wasn't really a question but it was good for clarification sakes. But the wide leer Tony got in response was answer enough.

Natasha took a step forward and the cold coal like eyes snapped to her instead.

“And you've brought your first stone back.” 

Tony took a step forward, honestly he just dealt with a large Purple eater and wasn't here for some poetic bullshit. Tony didn't die to just listen to riddles. 

“Okay Hell boy, let's get this over with, what one earth are you talking about?” Tony scowled. Natasha stood poised to Tony's left as the creature began to circle them again, Tony hated the fact he could do that. And then it started to snow-no...it wasn't snow it was ash. 

“The stones were destroyed, killed, abused and lost. But you did the unthinkable, you stopped the inevitable and housed them.” Tony really hated that smirk, when this was all said and done he was going to punch this guy. 

“You gave them your life in exchange...do you know what it means to do that?” Cackled the grim reaper. And again hadn't Tony gone over this? He was told he could rest...this.. _ sure as hell  _ **_wasn't_ ** _ resting! _

“Look here bu-” 

“You gave them back their life.” Came the heavy tone and Tony froze.  _ What? _

“What?” Natasha asked, finally stepping forward from behind Tony, and the circling finally stopped.  _ Thank God, he was gonna get sick if he had to keep spinning _ .

  
  


“Mortals are always so..” The creature scowled in a way that clearly meant he was pondering over a word, “ infinitesimal . ” Tony raised an eyebrow at that.

“Big word there man, don’t hurt yourself.” Tony glowered. 

“Look, you’re saying that I gave them back their life, and you aren’t going to even explain; I didn’t die, to be fed some cryptic bullshit.” 

“You didn’t die, in fact you gave your life.”  _ what? Gave life? Died? Wasn’t that the same?  _

  
  


‘How is he talking so much without saying anything?’ Natasha mumbled to Tony’s side, and she was right, this was so beyond Tony’s radar of caring. He was promised Heaven! Or Hell...probably Hell, or nothingness. Either way he wasn’t promised this in his death...unless this  _ was _ hell! That would make sense, this man was definitely something that could cause Tony infinite torment. 

“Look, just answer the damn question.” Tony scowled as he raised his palm back up. 

“The Stones need life to exist, as do all beings, and you gave that to them, brought them back, and now they need a host to rest in; a guardian to watch over them.” Came the sickly dark words spreading into the air, and then the whispers were symphonsizing with them. 

_ Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man. Iron Man.   _

_ Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes.  _

  
  


Oh...so...that’s what it meant. 

‘’So we can...go back?” Tony looked over at Natasha, who looked just as anxious as Tony felt. 

“As long as you protect the Stones...they have deemed you worthy Anthony son of Maria, don’t prove them wrong.” And with a ripple through the cloak the dark lord seemingly vanished into the ash that fell around them. 

“So are we… alive?” Natasha whispered looking at her hands and up at Tony. Tony looked at his own hands and clasped them over hers. 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m getting us back home, as ghosts or not, we are getting home.” 

And Tony meant it. It was a promise, just as the whispers started to echo in his head against bouncing into a symphony, crescending into a peal of  _ Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes.  _

“Tony?” Came the wary sound of Natasha, Tony scrunched up his eyes as a headache started to encompass his mind. The harsh whispers exploding over each other and making a cacophony of screams. Tony felt a fire burning inside his arm, starting on his knuckles and like lightning- electrifying the blood cells inside his veins. Tony had a distinct thought about the Extremis Virus as he stumbled. 

  
  


“TONY!” He knew Natasha was screaming but all he could see was blue,  _ blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue _ **_-_ **

There was a cloud, so thick in his throat it was clogging his windpipes and he could hear, he could hear…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

  
  


.

  
  


.

_ Whatever it takes. _

_ To get back home. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading, sorry AGAIN for changing this back to a one shot. it just doesn't really work as a multichapter, but this won't be the last of the Avengers fic okay!

**Author's Note:**

> Wwwhhhhat? What's this? Another Avengers fic? Sorry I had to after watching endgame. It seemed necessary, mind you this probably wont go anyways.   
> THANKS FOR READING!


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